Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
