dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
