he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize