What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
