I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
