I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
