So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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