Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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