i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
