I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
