You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
