Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
