Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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