with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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