I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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