I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
