Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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