I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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