Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
