i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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