Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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