I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
