The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize