He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
