I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
