My hand turned me down
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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