dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
