If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
