he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
