dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
