i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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