I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
