And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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