i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
mondays should just be called national damage control day
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
