the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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