Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
