i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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