Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
