Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
