Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
