Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
