i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
