just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
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In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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