Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
