she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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