ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There r osticjed everywhere
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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