Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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