my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
