we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
