Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
