Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
