Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
