I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
