I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize