That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
