You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm sobbing to NWA
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
