Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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