I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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