it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
