she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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