The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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