direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
