When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
