I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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