i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
